It gives me joy now to write, to share this with you. I would not be here now without many of you that have walked with me along the way. From this place of grace I know that this introduction to the work is not mine to write alone. My process has been a collaborative process from the beginning. I have often said that ultimately this is an inner journey in relationship to our dreams and yet the simple truth is that it has not been that simple.
Not to be too mello-dramatic but there is a kind of darkness that exists in association with our separation from grace, from the ways that we are unconscious of our own innocence and joy and there is also a kind of light that happens when we share our dreams, when we share our inner struggles that we each have in our unconsciousness.
Part of me wants to say that I wish it was as simple as being handed an infant to find this grace but I no longer really want that either. I have come to enjoy not just the moments of grace that I find, that I feel now but also the cycles that I move through that may not feel like grace but are part of the greater existence of grace.
It has taken me a time to accept the grace that is not really mine to hold but is held in a bigger consciousness that is reflected in our dreams. It has taken a time to accept that I cannot be in my own cycles of this process – which are not all graceful without the support of others in this world.
I have many reactions to this grace – some of which come up even now as I write. There is a vulnerability in being with this infant, in feeling the joy that brings up a deeper fear. There is a fear in giving voice to what I know is true from this place. I can feel it running through my entire body as I let myself breathe here in this moment. If it were not for all of you that have shared your own experiences with me, I would think that I was crazy for feeling this.
I have struggled with these feelings as I have tried to write this piece. Needed the clarity of this dream in some way to help me to find my way through my reactions to these feelings. As I feel into the infant I can feel that she does not feel this fear. I can also feel that with her I can be with the fear and feel held by something bigger than me the way that she feels held.
In that bigger holding of all of this I know that I want help to write this introduction. That with her I feel my own experience of being held in this bigger consciousness and I feel the need to continue to learn from other’s experience of that consciousness.
I hope that some of you will help me with this. That you will ask questions, give feedback and share your own experience. As I write of my own experiences and my own ways of talking about the work, I hope that you will feel into your own dreams and the ways that you have learned and are learning from your dreams and from whatever other practices that have helped you to find your way back to grace, back to yourself, back to a trust in the larger grace of consciousness.
With love, Bill